Waiting for Godot… or Bell Canada
Please press the following number for a residential line….
Is this the number you are having trouble with…?
Please pick a time for our technician to come to your house…..
There’s no doubt about it, the Robo-Calls I’ve encountered with Bell Canada have been very effective. Very effective in setting up appointments, and also in bringing disappointment. You see, there’s a cow on the line. A what? A cow. In the olden days, when phone lines were exposed, in the country, a cow could very well be on the line which had fallen to gale force winds the night before. Cow or no cow, my phone crackles more than my knees going up the stairs. And the hum. Like I’ve been stuck in a room full of fluorescent lights. Twice I’ve called Bell, spoken with their machines and set up appointments within a very civilized time frame (as opposed to the other utilities who give you a five hour window and then you step away from the phone to load laundry or chase after the escaped dog and then they call to say you missed them, even though they were about 10 minutes from the appointment expiring, and then you need to make another 5 hour window available…. no? Just me? Ok.) Twice Bell has called on the wrong day to say they are on their way, or on a Sunday morning the very nice technician showed up to do the work, but it was not even remotely convenient for my family at that moment. Twice I have waited and waited… please hold, your call is important… only to have their appointment come and go.
So what gives, Bell Canada? Hello? Is anyone home? I just called to say I don’t love you very much at the moment. I mean, surely, Bell Canada, the land line invented by one of our very own, or at least borrowed from a recent Scottish immigrant, Alexander Graham Bell, needs to retain all the landline owners it can keep? I know many friends who have done away with their landlines. I have always wanted to retain mine as my late night conspiracy radio listening convinces me that we will surely run out of charge for all our cell phones and those cell towers might one day get knocked out by either a solar flare or some foreign launched malware in order to ruin world order. While it’s true, I would be somewhat happy if cell phones were done away with (No more crazy Data bills! Our kids could go to a concert and actually watch it- with their own eyeballs!), land lines have become more obsolete as we become more connected to our disconnected telephones. But, I’m a sucker for the ‘good ole days’, I suppose. And the ‘good ‘ole days’ means speaking with an actual person to make an appointment, rather than a Robot that has failed tweice now to send a technician on the correct day, at the correct time.
So, Bell Canada: I’ll give you one more chance. After that, I may just hang up and pull the plug. Please hold for the next chapter…..